From the Midwest. I'm everything your mom loves in a guy and then some. Outdoorsy kinda guy. By outdoorsy I mean I like to drink on the patio. I owned a plant once, and that didn't go well at all. If I were an object I would be carpet - I hate getting stepped on but enjoy getting laid. Humor is a must. If you can't laugh at yourself I probably will. How are your standards? Hope they're low. This is for Tinder, right?
Born from the happy accident of green toxic ooze spilling down the sewer drain, Evan was happily playing in as a child, Evan grew to be a Master of Disguise. Known for attempting far too many quick costume changes during shows, trying to take on far too many props, and playing excellent female roles with pinpoint accuracy (in his mind). Evan is the child of the Upright Citizens Brigade and the Magnet Theaters. Being a part of the Usual Rejects has been a light shining (directly in his eyes) in his life.
Jacklyn has known she was destined to be a reject since the age of six, when her kindergarten crush told her that she smelled like kitty litter (her family did not have a cat at the time). Jacklyn channeled her heartbreak into artistic pursuits. Some of Jacklyn's most memorable acting experiences include operating the poop gun for Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer on Broadway, getting booed off the stage by a bunch of third graders in Oklahoma City, and playing several different prostitutes (with hearts of gold!) at The Chain Theatre.
Sean is the force that cannot be caused, the great truth never known. He is all and nothing and everything. On Sundays, he likes to relax with a cup of coffee and the unanswered cries of a thousand extinguished civilizations. He is enjoying omnipotence and greatly looks forward to developing benevolence.
Nick Fondulis laughed maniacally in Tina Fey's face on “30 Rock," had his own face punched by Ian McShane on "Kings" & pummeled by Taylor Shilling's donuts in "Mercy." Nick enjoys pop quizzes for hotshots & nobody calls him chicken. Nobody.
What are those dulcet tones you hear? It’s probably the narration of Kirk Gostkowski encouraging you to pay attention. From Nakatomi Plaza to the Temple of Doom he has been encouraging you join the ride because we’ve spared no expense. Don’t worry baby, I’ll be your Captain.
Brandon Scott Hughes
Brandon Scott Hughes was raised by raptors until the ripe age of 30 when he became a New York City cop. Recently separated from his wife, he took a voyage to outer space, the final frontier, where he met a group of aliens who injected him with mimetic polyalloy and sent him back to earth to fight off a robot invasion. After his success he was elected President and now had to face his alien “friends” who had now become his enemy. He will not go quietly into the night!! And he will not give up without a fight!!! He will go on… being a Usual Reject. Amen.
After years of getting type-casted as the "Coquettish Ingenue" in back room snuff films, Kyle decided he was more than just a fantastic ass and sperm receptacle, he had a destiny to fulfill! And that destiny was to vomit and piss himself on stage, both of which never would've been possible without the guidance and support of The Usual Rejects. He looks forward to his next role with the company, where his super-objective will be to belch and brown his underwear at the same time. You know, now that he thinks about it, he's still the Coquettish Ingenue.
Christina Elise Perry
From Sarah Conner to your beloved Princess Leia, Perry hits vocal frequencies that would kill passing birds and mimics all the cinematic moments that annoy you most. Christina Elise Perry brings new levels of terror and pushes the boundaries of what really lies within the female psyche.
Patrick is a proud to call himself a Reject. Either in the audience or on stage, no role is to big. No fee is to big. He's a classically trained Reject who spent time studying with the greats; Spielberg, Lucas, Coppola, The Zucker Brothers. You give him a poor moisture farmer and he'll whine through his lines so hard he'll make you cry. (Or himself) May the Force Live long and ALWAYS cross the streams.
Stacy Ayn Price
Stacy Ayn Price is the love child of two Nordic Greek Gods, Sven and Vyeka. An abandoned shinning diamond of a goddess bastard, you saw her as a Porn Star on MTV's Guy Code ( "Life Without Porn") and Sue in Rady and Bloom's "The Upper Room" ( NY Times Critic's Pick). She starred and created "Box of Crayons" and "Peaches and Tea" (Cannes 2015)). AND, She can fly (got it from her momma).
Ignored as a child, David spent most of his free time watching movies and acting them out in front of the mirror. Dressing up in his mother’s yellow bike outfit to play Wolverine, or using his father’s work shirts to play Clark Kent, or his mother’s panty hose to play Prince Adam AKA HeMan, or his mother’s eyeshadow to play Lion-O. Later it was clear that besides wanting to be a cross dresser, David was destined to do exactly what he loved to do as a child, to wear costumes, put on make up and pretend he’s saving the world...or tear people’s heart out...or defuse a bomb...or battle Dart Vader...or be Jeff Goldblum...it’s the tits!
Lenny "Laugh or Die" Thomas is a New York City slicking motherf*cker! Born already able to walk, Lenny walks where he damn pleases, but is cocksure to leave a trail of LOL's and smiles. Head over heels in love with performing, "LD" never misses any opportunity to ham it up with his compadres. #blackstallion.